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The Top 10 Tips for Great Sex

by Virginia Walz

Without going into too much detail, let me just say that these tips are tested and proven. Create incredible intimacy, passion and pleasure.

1. Affirm that you are in a committed relationship. Anybody can have sex. To have great sex, there needs to be an understanding that the relationship is monogamous, strong and in good health. In order to attain the type of intimacy that great sex requires, trust and security are essential.

2. Communicate your likes and dislikes in a loving and considerate manner. Understand that personal enjoyment is key to healthy sex. Each partner wants to know that they are pleasing the other. In order to keep this level of healthy enjoyment, you must communicate how much you like or dislike a particular action or activity.

3. Stay physically fit. The studies are in! People who workout on a regular basis have better sex. Exercise increases flexibility, stamina and strength, all of which contribute to vital, sustained pleasure. 

4. Make the extra effort to do the little things which remind your partner that they're special. Does your partner like you to dress a particular way or in a particular color? What does it hurt to give them what they want? Just make sure that the generosity is reciprocated. Often women will give and give hoping to someday get the same consideration in return. When they don't, they withdraw from their partner in resentment. Ask for what you want and make sure that there is a mutual exchange of generous behavior.


5. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed. This is it. No matter what your history, take responsibility for what you like and enjoy and don't be embarrassed. If you are openly communicating with your partner in a committed relationship, the shame will go away. If you are concerned about how your partner may react to a fantasy you have, first discuss how your partner feels about fantasies in general. You can introduce things slowly, as you feel safe.

6. Come into the relationship as equals and maintain that healthy status. If you don't have equality in the relationship, it will not work. This doesn't mean that you can't play dominance-submission roles under certain conditions, but those conditions must have a line of demarcation that is understood by both partners. Without mutual respect and equality, the selves in the relationship cannot be affirmed and the relationship will corrode.

7. Practice good grooming. Do this anyway, but especially in consideration of your intimate partner.

8. Completely receive your partner. Allow them to give to you. This is harder for most people than first reading would indicate. Many people can happily give to their partner, but have a hard time allowing someone to give to them. Learn to receive the pleasure being offered to you.

9. Enjoy yourself. Sexual intimacy should be one of the greatest pleasures of being human. Understand that it is meant to be enjoyed and then enjoy it! No one wants to be with a partner who is merely going through the motions. Enjoy it, or don't do it.

10. Talk about it afterwards. In as much detail as you can manage, talk about what you did. Discuss what you liked, why you liked it and how you can recreate it or improve it. You are in this together; discuss what worked and what didn't, but focus on what worked.


Virginia Walz is a Life Coach specializing in Personal Empowerment, Extreme Self-Care and Creating Incredible Relationships. She conducts individual consultations, teleclasses, discussions and workshops. She is currently working on her first book detailing the power of rational self-interest. Virginia can be visited on the web at

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