Having a Hard Time with Christmas?

by Patty E. Fleener M.S.W.

If you are experiencing sadness during this time, look at it this way, the closer we get to Christmas, the sooner it will be over. 

What is Christmas? It is what is in your mind and for everyone it is different. Christ was not actually even born on that day. 

Our society has created a myth that you must be very happy this time of year and you must be with lots of family. If you aren't then you are strange and there must be something wrong with you. Have you felt that before? I have and it's silly. 

Some of us don't have any family. Some of us do but we don't get along with our families. Some of us have divorced our families for good reason and some are far away. 

Remember that being gloriously happy this time of year is a MYTH! It is not reality. What you see on television about Christmas is a MYTH!

We see television shows around this time of year where people experience miracles in their life and we want so much for that to happen to us. It probably has but you weren't tuned in. 

I have had many, many miracles happen in my life and continue to happen. 

I am alive, not mental health disorders. Put those all together and there is a high suicide rate but I am not only here today I am feeling good now and look at what God has been able to do through me. I'm talking to you right now and hopefully reaching a lot of people and that is a miracle. If I have made just one person feel better with my words this morning that is a miracle.

It is a miracle that there are meds for all my disorders. There weren't always meds available. Look at our history. 

You may be feeling miserable right now but if you look at your life I know you will find a miracle, at least one. You are here and you are alive and there is always hope - always even though you don't see it - it is always there. 

Again as a reminder, I will be alone on Christmas and will be working on the sites. I really enjoy doing that so why not do something I love doing? I have two baby kittens here to take care of and having them is a miracle. I am so blessed! It is rare that I am on the computer without Gioncarlos on my lap. Don't you just love that name? It sounds like a spy name. LOL

HOW TO "STAND"

So if you are having a hard time with Christmas, picture yourself laying down and right now you have decided you are tired of feeling that way. You have decided you have inner strength that you are not drawing on. See yourself saying," Stand!" As you say that, see yourself get up off the ground and stand up and as you stand up you are strong and you know that you can face anything that comes along. It's ok to experience fear. Remember what courage is - experiencing fear but doing it anyway. 

I want you to continue to picture yourself getting up off the ground. You may even want to dust yourself off. You might find yourself tearful. It's a "good kind of tears." After you have done this you will not be the same. You have just taught yourself that you can stand up and face diversity; that you have inner strength; that you know how to stand up and that you are not defenseless. 

Now, there are times in our lives where we will need professional help in order to "stand." Are we weak that we cannot do this alone?? NO! We have to do our own inner assessment as to whether we need professional help or not. 

For example, I feel I am a very strong person and I face adversity well. However there have been many times that I have been unable to "stand" without counseling and/or medication. Part of "standing" is getting what we need to stand up. If you are "laying down" in a suicidal depression and you are not getting help you are not "standing." If you are, then you evaluate probably quickly that you are unable to stand up alone and that you need to see a Dr. and a therapist immediately. You are doing what is necessary to get off the ground. 

We are never at fault for being on the ground and that is important for you to know. When our brains fire out of control and put us on the ground, how can we be responsible? We are however responsible to take care of ourselves and that includes getting assistance if we need it.