Having a Hard Time with Christmas?
by Patty E. Fleener M.S.W.
If you are experiencing sadness during this
time, look at it this way, the closer we get to Christmas, the
sooner it will be over.
What is Christmas? It is what is in your mind and for everyone
it is different. Christ was not actually even born on that
Our society has created a myth that you must be very happy
this time of year and you must be with lots of family. If you
aren't then you are strange and there must be something wrong
with you. Have you felt that before? I have and it's silly.
Some of us don't have any family. Some of us do but we don't
get along with our families. Some of us have divorced our
families for good reason and some are far away.
Remember that being gloriously happy this time of year is a
MYTH! It is not reality. What you see on television about
Christmas is a MYTH!
We see television shows around this time of year where people
experience miracles in their life and we want so much for that
to happen to us. It probably has but you weren't tuned in.
I have had many, many miracles happen in my life and continue
I am alive, not mental health disorders. Put those all
together and there is a high suicide rate but I am not only
here today I am feeling good now and look at what God has been
able to do through me. I'm talking to you right now and
hopefully reaching a lot of people and that is a miracle. If I
have made just one person feel better with my words this
morning that is a miracle.
It is a miracle that there are meds for all my disorders.
There weren't always meds available. Look at our history.
You may be feeling miserable right now but if you look at your
life I know you will find a miracle, at least one. You are
here and you are alive and there is always hope - always even
though you don't see it - it is always there.
Again as a reminder, I will be alone on Christmas and will be
working on the sites. I really enjoy doing that so why not do
something I love doing? I have two baby kittens here to take
care of and having them is a miracle. I am so blessed! It is
rare that I am on the computer without Gioncarlos on my lap.
Don't you just love that name? It sounds like a spy name. LOL
HOW TO "STAND"
So if you are having a hard time with Christmas, picture
yourself laying down and right now you have decided you are
tired of feeling that way. You have decided you have inner
strength that you are not drawing on. See yourself
saying," Stand!" As you say that, see yourself get
up off the ground and stand up and as you stand up you are
strong and you know that you can face anything that comes
along. It's ok to experience fear. Remember what courage is -
experiencing fear but doing it anyway.
I want you to continue to picture yourself getting up off the
ground. You may even want to dust yourself off. You might find
yourself tearful. It's a "good kind of tears." After
you have done this you will not be the same. You have just
taught yourself that you can stand up and face diversity; that
you have inner strength; that you know how to stand up and
that you are not defenseless.
Now, there are times in our lives where we will need
professional help in order to "stand." Are we weak
that we cannot do this alone?? NO! We have to do our own inner
assessment as to whether we need professional help or not.
For example, I feel I am a very strong person and I face
adversity well. However there have been many times that I have
been unable to "stand" without counseling and/or
medication. Part of "standing" is getting what we
need to stand up. If you are "laying down" in a
suicidal depression and you are not getting help you are not
"standing." If you are, then you evaluate probably
quickly that you are unable to stand up alone and that you
need to see a Dr. and a therapist immediately. You are doing
what is necessary to get off the ground.
We are never at fault for being on the ground and that is
important for you to know. When our brains fire out of control
and put us on the ground, how can we be responsible? We are
however responsible to take care of ourselves and that
includes getting assistance if we need it.
Mental Health Matters for information
and articles. Get
help to find
a therapist or list
your practice; and Psych
Forums for message boards on a variety of MH topics.
Copyright © Patty Fleener, M.S.W. All