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Being a Victim
Some folks take on a "victim personality" and they
express themselves as a victim in every situation. It is true that many of us
are survivors of abuse.
She says in her book "...Even though you are no longer in the original trauma situation, you think and act as if you are still being victimized."
She also quotes Dr. Barry McCarthy saying "The third level
of victimization involves the person adopting a lifelong label as a
What might be holding her back from leaving her current abusive situation? Maybe lots of things. Fear; not feeling she is "good enough" for a better life; low self-esteem; fear of the unknown; fear that she wouldn't make it alone. If she has never lived a health lifestyle, it's like playing Monopoly. How can she play if she doesn't know the rules?
Dr. Matsakis does discuss in her book how to discard victim thinking and provides exercises in the book.
It is important to realize that victim thinking is toxic for you and not healthy and to move forward in your life, you need to identify this pattern in your life and learn how to rid yourself of it.
Remember along the way that this is probably a normal response to a traumatic situation in which you were truly victimized.
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Copyright © Patty Fleener, M.S.W. All rights reserved.