Are you under care of a Doctor, Psychiatrist, Therapist, Other? Please List:
Doctor, Psychiatrist, Therapist and DBT team.
What is your diagnosis or diagnoses?
Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,
Anxiety and Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and Borderline Personality Disorder
At what age were you diagnosed with the borderline personality disorder?
Have you gotten better or worse?
At first I got worse, then in the past year I've gotten much
If you've gotten worse, what do you feel made you worse?
Pregnancy made it worse, and stress does too.
** Very Important Question If You Could Answer Fully -> If you have gotten
better, what specifically has helped you? This could be different for every
DBT has helped tremendously as well as individual therapy sessions 1 or 2 times
Has medication helped?
Not dramatically. It helps with Bipolar, but not BPD.
*What advice would you like to give to others who are suffering from your
same illness( s)?
Go to DBT and stay in it!! It really can work! Keep connections, no matter how
much you want to curl up in your bed and stay away from everyone that cares.
Learn what your triggers are and who is invalidating in your life and stay away
Have you ever felt stigmatized due to having the BPD? Have you ever felt you
have been looked down on or put down by others because you have the BPD? Tell us
Honestly the only time I've felt stigmatized by having BPD is from others who
have it also. Some people are upset by the label given to them and borderlines.
The label however does not bother me.
There have been a few websites I've been on, specifically BPD Central where I've
feel stigmatized and hurt by what was said to generalize ALL people with
borderline personality disorder. I am so much more than just a diagnosis.
Also I'm in a custody battle right now with my ex husband who is trying to prove
that because I have BPD I m a bad mother. I find thinking like that very
damaging and hurtful, and unfortunately he isn't the only one with that line of
What do you know now that you wish you would have known long ago?
I wish I knew that I wasn't the only one with these problems and thoughts. For
so many years I thought I was weird, and when I finally found out that what I
had had a name, I was ecstatic
How have these disorder(s) interfered in your life? Which areas?
Impulsivity, lack of interpersonal effectiveness, promiscuity, an extreme fear
of abandonment, boredom. I've made several bad choices in my life on a whim.
Dropping out of college, getting pregnant (although I do not regret my daughter,
I realize now I did not think things through before going off the pill.) Getting
married, leaving my husband, moving around&
And then of course there's the Para suicidal behavior. For two years I cut
myself over and over methodically. I was hospitalized twice, and sent to the
crisis center four times.
What does it feel like to have your disorder?
It feels very lonely. I often feel misunderstood, like others are always against
me or out to hurt me. My mind is a confusing place to be most days. I go through
periods of happiness, depression, sadness, anger, and jealousy all within the
course of ten minutes or so. I want so much to show people how strong I am, and
how this disorder doesn't affect me. But it does affect me, so I struggle a lot
with that. Trying to be perfect, when I know that ideal isn't good to have.
"Lost in the Mirror" and "Girl Interrupted" (as unkind as it
was to mental illness) capture a lot of what I'm going through with my
*Have you ever felt seriously suicidal? How many times? What got you through
that (those times)?
I've been suicidal quite often. It used to be a driving force inside me daily
that I could only alleviate by cutting. I've tried once with Aspirin, but it
failed. And another time I dissociated and overdosed on Xanax. I have no memory
of the last one even happening because I was unconscious for four days on the
floor. Now that I've been in DBT for almost 2 years, I am using many skills
daily to help me through my feelings of hopelessness. I page my therapist if I
need help or someone to talk to and so far its been working. I haven't cut in
almost 7 months!
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