Letter from a Family Member about Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder Rages

I am writing this to let those of you out there who have been at the receiving end of a bipolar/BPD rage and feel so powerless. That unless you are a trained professional knowing what to do you are at the least powerless.

I have been diagnosed and receive social security disability for severe post traumatic stress disorder and dysthymia. I have no idea of how to cope with a BPD/bipolar rage. As a matter of fact all I do know is how to do is cringe. Being at the receiving end of these rages has caused me undue and undeserved stress.
Repeatedly accepting dangerous behavior has led to my personal downfall. I don't know how to cope. 

My therapist says my reluctance to remove myself is a danger in itself. 

All I want to is for it to stop. Hours of introspection to try to understand how I cause these rages and how I can keep them from recurring and I am no closer to a solution.

Well, I am here to say...you can do nothing. If you depend on others for your feelings of self worth, the raging BPD will destroy you. I have been on the fringe of self destruction and must take medication (paxil/CR{25mg} and seroquel {100 mg.) just to survive.

I want to ask why when professionals deal with bpd's and bipolar personalities they don't demand accountability for their actions. Understanding why you do what you do and knowing a brain dysfunction causes you to act out in such a manner is only one part of understanding. 

Is there a chance for recovery? Can those of us who love those raging "maniacs" have any hope for a calm and happy life? What is the proper manner to handle these rages without being destroyed in one way or another? I would like to know if there is any hope at all. I would like to face my days with some joy and hope instead of hoping for death.

Also, is BPD/bipolar disorder reflect a form of sociopathy? Is the refusal to accept that the "raging manias" are not tolerable in society a common thought for BPDS/bipolars? 

I would love to continue to love my raging maniac without wanting to kill myself. I would love to find a manner for us both to recover. How I would hate to leave him with the idea that he caused my severe depression, physical ailments deriving from stress and my ultimate death at my own hand. And even if I could not control my pain and relief from the angst will he feel anything other than how my pain caused him pain? Is there any hope?