Replies to Family Member Letter about Rages

Family Member of Persons With Bipolar Disorder

I have seven family members with different forms of Bipolar Disorders. A son age 38 who was around 26 when diagnosed but has never excepted that he has it. When in the manic stage he sounds a lot like the person in this lady's letter and for years I reacted just as she is. I'm not sure you intended to receive letters from other family members of BP Disorders but I felt lead to write to her. 

The last couple years I have finally gotten it through my head--that I can't fix or help my son-until---he take's responsibility for his illness. Several years ago when he was in a state mental hospital, his psychiatrist told me this but at the time it made me mad at doctor (because I thought he's sick how can he) but now I understand he meant when he wasn't in manic stage then he was responsible. I like that person let my life revolve around this son and what was going on with him. What a roller-coaster ride life is when you do that as I ended up as sick as he was. 

Family members living with or around a person who is having the manic rages need to distant themselves from that person because in that state without medications there is no way to reason with them. In this state you ARE NOT dealing with your loved one and the only help there is for them is to get them into a hospital who treats mental illness so they can get them leveled off with medications. 

To me it sounds like this lady loved one is like my son and is not taking medications or he's not on right medications. The only time you can help the bipolar disorder person is when he is leveled off after med's. In my son's case in manic, depression or more normal state he still can't accept anything is wrong with him except it is anxiety from things that has happened to him in life (which was caused by his own actions). His wife divorced him years ago but a mother can't do that. What I can do is distance myself from him when he is in the manic stage and try to get him picked up by police so he can be put in hospital and forced on medicine to bring him down for his own protection and for others. I would like to tell this lady that only she can take responsibility for her own health and protection--as she doesn't have a big enough bandage to fix her BP loved one. It is so hard to get to the place that you realize this. 

I hope this person will get strong enough to take her doctors advice. I will keep her in my prayers. I wondered if you have or know of any place where the family members can talk or E-mail other family members who have loved ones with BP? Patty you have helped me see more clear the other side of these disorders so keep up the good work. Also I admire you for admitting your ups and downs and am so thankful to see you continue to pick yourself back up and move on when things have fell apart in your life. My prayers are that someday my son will be able to be like you. As they you can't choose what happens to you in life but you can choose how you decide to handle them. Keep up the good works. 

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