to Family Member Letter about Rages
Person with Borderline Personality Disorder
I am diagnosed with borderline personality
disorder. Besides I have some physical trouble with my back
First of all, I don't find it's good for me to feel that I'm
hurting someone else. I feel it helps when the person who
becomes the target is able to take care of his or her own
needs. So it's best when there's an agreement on what to do in
case of a rage. It's helpful when my therapist and immediate
family are willing to use some foresight. This makes me feel a
bit safer. Actually the perception that someone puts herself
on the mercy of my moods may add to the sense that my rage
cannot be controlled. Through therapy and other positive
experience I know that I can be calmed or calm myself under
positive circumstances. You may be more tolerant of being left
alone for a while. So with me it could have worked with my
withdrawing from the situation. Find the neutral areas, where
you can be together in a positive way. Remember that BPD
sufferers often have a conscience. It's not always put to
work, but it's there. So try to find an agreement. When angers
start stirring. The BPD may be the one to leave the scene.
I have no idea how it feels not to be able to remove oneself.
If you and the one with BPD that you care about can talk
calmly, I would come to an agreement on a cue that the
borderline leaves when pressure is building.
I agree that rage does not help in relationships. It can feel
like a relief from inner pressure though. That's why it can be
so difficult to stop. The inner pressure gets a lot more to
deal with than the outside world makes sense.
My husband and daughter have learned to counter my rages. They
saying things I don't like can set me off. So for a while both
my daughter and my husband started saying those words that I
have used for creating my nickname here. In that way they help
me prepare that I might get upset. It's actually been helpful.
It's many months since they've used it.
Permission by Anonymous
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