Laura Russell, Ph.D., Archive  

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Q. What Do I Do With All This Pain? 

I feel so frustrated and hopeless, that I see no other choices but suicide. My diagnoses are Borderline Personality Disorder and Major Depression Recurrent with Post Traumatic Sress Disorder episodes. 

I have some problems in my current life, but I really believe they are not causing me to feel this badly. 

I am at a loss here. The question is I am not sure what I need to do now. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. 


A. First of all let me express my concern that you feel so badly. I’d like to address your most dangerous concern, suicidal ideation. In the short term, it is just helpful to find comfort while you continue on searching for solutions. I’d like to suggest that you visit the MH Today Suicide Prevention Site and follow the links to find some way of holding on. 

Sometimes self-talk is helpful to keep hanging on until you find your answers. Comforting sayings like: 

  • You’re going to be ok. 

  • You’ll find an answer. 

  • This is temporary. 

  • You’ve made it this far, you can hang on. 

  • You can do it. 

Sometimes, it is as simple as to STOP making yourself wrong for feeling so bad. Simple was the word I used, not easy. Most people who are in serious emotional pain blame themselves for the pain. Then their self-talk and actions make them feel even worse. 
If you can understand that you have some kinds of reasons for feeling this badly, then you might stop criticizing yourself for hurting inside. This can be your biology, heredity, life experiences or personal history. Then you can think about comforting yourself. 
Sometimes, all I need is a break…a silly humorous movie, a best seller to read, a bubble bath, or crying to my dog. Some people can think of things they’d do for a friend if a friend was hurting. Then they go and do that activity. 

Remember, what I wrote above are short-term solutions. Try them until you can find the answers to help you feel better. 

Please write back and tell me how you are doing. 






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