Searching for a therapist to help with issues such as low libido, or other sex-related concerns?
This guide will help you understand how to find a qualified sex therapist you can speak with in person or online.
Later on, we’ve also explained what issues sexologists and sex therapists can help with, and what to expect from the therapy process.
Regain
Regain provides flexible online counseling services for individuals and couples navigating sexual, relationship, and other related difficulties.
This platform is designed to make it easy for you to connect with a licensed therapist who understands your situation.
When you sign up, you complete a short intake questionnaire. Based on your answers, you’ll be matched with a therapist who fits your preferences and the issues you want to address.
For example, you might state that you’d prefer to see a therapist of a certain gender if this makes it easier to talk about concerns like sexual communication or performance. If the first match doesn’t feel right, you can switch to a different sex therapist at any time.
Regain gives you the option to start therapy on your own and invite your partner later, once you’ve made some progress. Or, if you prefer, you can invite your partner right away after completing the initial questionnaire.
This flexibility allows the therapist to better understand both your personal experience and the dynamics of your relationship, but there is also the option to seek help alone, if you’d prefer.
Weekly therapy sessions are conducted live through a video call, though you can turn your camera off if you’d prefer.
You can also message your therapist between sessions to share updates, ask questions, or note concerns. Your therapist will review your messages and respond with guidance, insights, and feedback.
Regain does not accept most US health insurance plans, however using this platform is generally cheaper than seeing a sex therapist in person and paying out of pocket.
Plus, Regain has a financial aid program available, helping to lower the cost further if you would struggle to afford the regular price.
AASECT
Founded in 1967, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) is a nationally recognized organization that upholds high standards in sexual education and ethical guidelines for professionals.
One of the most valuable tools AASECT offers is its Referral Directory, which lets you search for certified sexologists and sex therapists by state or city.
Once you choose your state on the AASECT website, you’ll see a list of links to the profiles of qualified therapists on the platform, and the city they’re located.
These profiles generally describe the therapist’s certifications, degrees, areas of specialization (e.g., difficulties with arousal and orgasm), and therapeutic approaches. You’ll also see whether they work in private practice, their office hours, and if they provide telehealth sessions.
Some profiles also outline the therapist’s philosophy of care—for instance, whether they take a cognitive-behavioral, solution-focused, or holistic approach—so you can choose a therapist whose treatment style aligns with your needs.
Choosing an AASECT-certified professional means you’re connecting with someone who has completed specialized training in sexual health and abides by strict ethical guidelines.
This reassurance is particularly important if you’re seeking support for sensitive concerns, erectile or orgasm difficulties, or compulsive sexual behavior.
The problem with this directory is, the number of therapists available is limited in certain states. It might be difficult to find a qualified counselor or sexologist if you live in a smaller town or city.
Also, in more populated states and cities with a lot of counselors available, filtering therapists to find the right match is a bit difficult. You can’t filter by therapist gender or certification for example.
Mental Health Today therapist directory
Our Mental Health Today therapist directory allows you to search for licensed therapists with expertise in sexual and relational issues, including support for low libido, performance anxiety, and intimacy challenges.
Once you visit the directory, you can filter therapists by specialty, therapy type, state, or specific qualifications to find a provider who meets your needs.
If you’re struggling with issues such as low desire, painful sex, performance worries, or differences in intimacy within your relationship, our directory can help you find a therapist who understands these challenges.
Many providers also have expertise in related areas—such as trauma recovery, relationship counseling, or mood disorders—so your care can address sexual concerns alongside broader emotional and relational well-being.
You can choose to meet with a therapist in person, or opt for the flexibility of online sessions through video or phone, depending on what feels most comfortable.
This allows you to access specialized support, whether you prefer face-to-face therapy or the convenience of remote care.
However, unlike on Regain, some therapists on the directory don’t provide online counseling, which means it can be hard to find a licensed sex therapist if you live in a small town or city.
Issues a sex therapist can help with
Sexual difficulties can present in many different ways.
They often connect to the main stages of sexual experience: desire (wanting sex), arousal (getting aroused), orgasm (reaching orgasm), and resolution (feeling comfortable afterward).
These stages are commonly described as the sexual response cycle.
When something interrupts these stages, problems can appear. For example, you might feel little or no desire (desire disorders) or struggle to get or stay aroused (arousal disorders). Any of these issues can leave you feeling discouraged, stressed, or disconnected from your partner.
Common problems in sexual functioning
You might find that your interest in sex feels low, or that it’s difficult to feel desire at all. You may want sex but have trouble becoming aroused, such as difficulty getting or keeping an erection.
Some individuals experience orgasms that occur prematurely, are delayed, or don’t happen at all despite adequate stimulation.
Pain during sex is another common issue. You might notice your muscles tightening automatically, making penetration painful or impossible. Or you may feel ongoing discomfort due to irritation, injury, or medical conditions.
These problems are not “just in your head”—they are real, and therapy can combine gentle physical strategies with emotional support to ease both pain and fear.
Emotional and psychological concerns
Sexual challenges often go beyond the body. You may carry anxiety, fear, or shame about sex, sometimes linked to past sexual trauma.
Cultural, religious, or social messages about what sex “should” look like can add more pressure and confusion. You might also struggle with body image, leaving you too self-conscious to relax and enjoy intimacy.
It’s also common to worry about being “too sexual”. Compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, or pornography addiction can feel overwhelming and disruptive.
A therapist can help you find balance so that your sexual expression feels healthy instead of harmful.
Relationship and communication issues
You and your partner may have different levels of desire, leading to tension or avoidance. Or you may struggle to talk openly about intimacy, which leads to misunderstandings and frustration.
Sometimes, sexual difficulties can affect the broader relationship, leaving you both feeling distant or conflicted. Therapy gives you a safe place to have these conversations, rebuild trust, and strengthen closeness.
Sexual health and living with STIs
If you’re living with a sexually transmitted infection (STI), the impact goes beyond the physical. You may worry about rejection, feel shame, or face anxiety talking about your condition with sexual partners.
Discussing these concerns with a therapist can help you process your emotions and find ways to communicate with your partner more openly and confidently.
How sex therapy works in practice
Starting therapy: building the foundation
Sex therapy has no one-size-fits-all script. Your therapist works with you to decide what to focus on—sometimes medical issues, mental health, or relationship conflicts need attention before sex itself.
In some cases, therapy involves both partners and focuses on shared responsibility—encouraging collaboration rather than placing the issue on one person alone. Though, one-to-one sex therapy is also very common.
Because sexual concerns appear at different stages of the response cycle, therapy targets the area most affected—low desire, erection problems, ejaculation control, or difficulty reaching orgasm. Each stage has tailored strategies for both men and women.
Desire: reigniting interest
For women, therapy often begins with education and normalization—understanding that fantasies are healthy and can spark interest.
Techniques such as mindfulness help to reduce distractions such as body image worries or cultural stigma, while your counselor may also work to improve your self-esteem.
Therapists may recommend tracking emotional and physical signs of desire, experimenting with erotic stimuli, and nurturing connection through shared, non-sexual activities like walking or dancing.
For men, when facing issues such as reduced sexual desire, the first step is ruling out biological factors such as hormones or medications. Instead of forcing yourself to “want more,” you’ll be guided to accept your current level of desire and build from there.
Cognitive and mindfulness strategies can help to reduce feelings of pressure, while methods such as sensate focus or simmering (gentle fantasy work) can help reawaken sexual interest.
For both sexes, therapists may use affectual awareness (visualizing sexual scenes to uncover difficult emotions) or cognitive self-instruction (replacing thoughts like “I’ll lose control” with “I can allow myself to enjoy this”).
In some situations, biological support may be considered. For example, hormone treatments can help women whose concerns stem from menopause or surgery.
New medications may also be available for both men and women with persistent desire difficulties.
Arousal: rebuilding confidence
For women, long-standing arousal difficulties often bring frustration or doubt. Therapy begins by setting realistic expectations, for example that sexual interest can’t be switched on, but it grows in safe, relaxed situations.
You and your partner will define intimacy together, challenge negative thoughts, and practice communication skills to express needs and preferences.
For example, you might practice saying, “I feel more relaxed when we slow down,” or, “I’d like to try more touching before we move to intercourse.”
Fantasies are reframed as normal and healthy, helping desire return naturally. When pain or involuntary muscle contractions around the vagina are involved, treatment may include two steps:
- Practicing tightening and relaxing muscles to regain control.
- Gradual exposure with dilators—always at your own pace—until pain-free intercourse becomes possible.
For men, arousal problems often appear as erectile disorder (ED). Therapy reframes ED as a shared challenge, not your problem alone.
Therapy encourages shifting focus from performance-based outcomes like penetration to fostering emotional closeness and mutual comfort.
In some cases, medications such as Viagra or Cialis may also be recommended alongside therapy.
Orgasm: building confidence and control
For men, orgasm difficulties can take the form of premature or delayed ejaculation.
For premature ejaculation, strategies like the stop-start method (pausing stimulation before climax to build control) or the squeeze technique (gently squeezing the penis to reduce arousal before resuming) help you build control.
For delayed ejaculation, therapy often blends anxiety reduction with stimulation-based strategies—such as masturbating to orgasm in your partner’s presence or pausing just short of climax before intercourse.
For women, orgasm difficulties often arise from barriers such as fear of losing control, guilt, or negative cultural and religious messages about sexuality.
Therapy begins by uncovering and reframing these beliefs. Directed masturbation training is one of the most effective methods.
Step by step, you’ll use diagrams, educational erotic materials, and guided exercises to notice what feels good. These practices build confidence and comfort with your body before involving your partner.
Resolution: comfort and ongoing intimacy
The last stage, resolution, is about how you and your partner feel after sex.
Therapy emphasizes that intimacy doesn’t end when the activity does—it’s carried into the way you talk, connect, and support each other afterward.
Online vs in-person sex therapy
A key decision before beginning therapy is whether to see a sex therapist in person or remotely.
Each format offers specific advantages, and the best fit depends on your comfort level, schedule, and local access to care.
Seeing a therapist in person allows for richer communication.
Being in the same space allows your therapist to see how your emotions present physically. Nonverbal cues such as body language are easier to detect, which can help guide the conversation more intuitively.
Some people also feel more supported when working through sensitive topics face-to-face, especially when practicing exercises designed to reduce anxiety or build intimacy.
At the same time, in-person care isn’t always practical. If you live in a rural area, can’t find a local qualified sex therapist, or have a busy schedule, you might find it hard to get the support you need. Travel, work, and family commitments can all get in the way of effective care.
Online therapy removes many of these barriers. You can connect with a licensed sexologist by video, phone, or even text messaging, from the privacy of your home.
This can feel safer when discussing deeply personal issues such as desire, arousal, or relationship conflict. Many people also find it easier to schedule regular sessions online, making therapy more accessible.
For some, meeting at home even enhances comfort—especially if shame, anxiety, or stigma about sex has been a barrier to starting therapy.
Plus, it’s often easier to find the best therapist for you over the internet, since the number of licensed professionals available to choose from is much higher.
Using online therapy, you’re much more likely to find a qualified sex therapist who is licensed to practice in your state, has experience helping people with similar issues to yours, and is your preferred gender (if you have one).
Cost of sex therapy in the US
Sex therapy costs in the U.S. are comparable to other types of mental health counseling. However, fees vary based on several factors, such as where you live, the therapist’s qualifications and experience, and whether insurance is available.
Typical cost
- Private sessions often range from $100 to $300 per hour, mostly depending on the city where the therapist resides.
- Couples counseling normally costs more than individual sessions, about 50% higher in most cases.
- Some online platforms, like Regain, offer packaged subscription plans, with lower costs compared to traditional in-person sessions.
- Sliding scale pricing is sometimes available, whereby the rate charged depends on your income. This is commonly offered through community clinics or by supervised interns, but some regular therapists offer sliding scale pricing as well.
- Online platforms such as Regain often offer financial aid programs. These work in a similar way to sliding scale pricing, whereby you can receive a certain discount if you would struggle to afford paying out of pocket.
Insurance and payment
While some sex therapists and sexologists do accept insurance, many are private-pay only. If coverage isn’t available, you can potentially lower costs by using a Flexible Spending Account (FSA) or Health Savings Account (HSA).
In many cases, insurance companies require a formal diagnosis—such as a mental health or medical condition—before classifying sex therapy as medically necessary.
Without this, coverage may not apply. It’s best to confirm your level of coverage with both your therapist and your insurance provider before starting treatment.
Conclusion
Sex therapy is not only about resolving difficulties—it’s about empowering individuals and couples to reconnect with themselves and each other in meaningful ways.
Through guided exploration, therapy creates a space to unlock suppressed desires and cultivate a deeper sense of sexual agency.
If you’re still not sure how best to find a qualified sex therapist near you, leave us a comment below, and we’ll help out.
